“Dhinchak Mulgi Diaries”- They deserve the love too..



In the last couple of weeks, I have been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to interact with a very beautiful woman – Jyoti Surve.


Is she a celebrity? Did she win a talent hunt? Is she a politician? Is she a business woman?

If you’re wondering who she is, then let me put your thoughts to rest.  Jyoti is a fighter and more than that, she is an achiever.


Jyoti, an HIV positive was introduced to me by a common friend. Aur fir kya, I had to share her story with you. After you finish reading this, I bet you will be inspired and above all, you will learn to love unconditionally.


I interviewed her recently and the transformation that she has caused in me, I am going to owe her for life.


Her husband Vivek, an HIV negative person, describes her as fun loving. He says, “One has to be with her to know her funny side. She always has a smiling face irrespective of what is happening inside her heart. She would never speak about her sorrows to anyone. Rather she will give her shoulder to all her friends. She has a great sense of humour. She can crack a joke in the middle of a serious conversation. She is just unpredictable. She loves to watch movies, read novels, and she is very spiritual and follows Krishna Consciousness. She is a pure vegetarian and an active member of an NGO Animal Matters To Me.”


For someone like Jyoti, it saddened me to know how insensitive society (yes, hum log) could be to those like her. While we do say that we belong to the 21st century, the more modern century, it is also true that we are still stuck in ancient times. HIV is still a taboo. So what is the need of the hour?


“I give the most emphasis on EDUCATION as it is ignorance that leads to fear, stigma, discrimination and hatred. It is heartening to see a most educated person behave differently with a one living with HIV. Either they are treated as “untouchables” or looked down upon as prostitute (In India, people think that the only way you get HIV is through multiple sex partners)” says Jyoti.


But then are we educated enough? Ask yourself this question, if I were to come across a friend who confessed that he/she were HIV positive, would I still be their friend? Would I marry someone who was HIV positive? Chances are that at the back of your head, you are all saying NO.


So that’s the answer. We aren’t educated enough.  “Sex education is still considered a taboo, but it is a high time India has to move beyond its conservative values and spread awareness as soon as kids reach puberty level. That is when they become aware of their bodies and changes in hormones happen. Therefore if taught at a very younger age, we can safeguard each and every person of contracting the virus, or more importantly protecting themselves within window period if ever they are effected/infected.  Not only this, but every girls should know about women condoms and government should make it available at every stores, that too at a cheaper rate so as not to be victimized by their husbands who don’t like to wear protection themselves,”Jyoti added.


But despite all these indifferent approaches, one thing that brought an HIV positive woman and an HIV negative man together is LOVE. So there is hope then, lots of it.


Spread LOVE not HATE say Jyoti and Vivek. Jyoti further states, “My husband is the living example. Though he is HIV Negative, he had come to the terms of me being HIV Positive when we were in the dating stage (after the initial shock wore off, which took him 3 months) and accepted me the way I am. The only thing he believed was in us. He didn’t give a damn to what the society would think, neither he did he bother about what his friends, who tried to steer him away from the relationship, said. He educated himself regarding HIV and in return tried to educate his friends and critics alike. Through me, he met other wonderful people living with HIV/AIDS and felt that there is a need for a change in the society and decided that together we will do something. The bravest thing that he has done was to marry me despite coming from conservative orthodox family/society. He believes that changes start from within and he also believes that through our examples we can bring in change.”


Love they say is an amazing feeling. Once you are there, it’s easy to lose yourself in it. Sometimes you grow so connected that you are willing to do whatever it takes for your partner. Jaise hum modern hote jaate hai vaise vaise pyaar par se importance hum kam karte jaare hai. We are all in search of the perfect partner. Ask me. I’ve always been over expecting, never really giving love a chance. But Jyoti and Vivek did something to me that I couldn’t resist sharing with you. I had to let their story inspire you as much as it inspired me.


Dhinchak Mulgi says: Life is too short. Find the perfect one in someone who loves you and accepts you for who you are. That’s your perfect match. So if you know someone like that don’t block them. Experience the magic you will never regret. Thank You Vivek and Jyoti

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